Satire warning!

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On my flight this morning I was lucky enough to get an upgrade to 1st class. The service in flight was very good. I had an aisle seat and occasionally the attractive stewardess would have to lean across me to serve my seatmate, brushing against me. When we landed and I walked passed her she smiled and winked at me in a very friendly manner. I just realized I was sexually assaulted. I should alert the media and hold a press conference. This abuse of authority must be stopped in its tracks. That light touch, smile and wink was unwelcomed (ok, not really ????) and unwarranted. I will exercise my rights in this democracy and push back and get some attention. The abuse of power in our airways by flight attendants and anyone else who serves the public on terra ferma or elsewhere need to be trained to understand that these unwelcome ???? advances have gone on for too long and must be stopped!! I now understand the actresses whose fannies were litely patted by an invalid former President. I get it. I really do. It is a travesty. Travelers unite!!!! On a side note I hope to see that flight attendant again at some point to confirm my experience. ???? Just sayin'.

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